Is it me only or you too have these thoughts? The random thoughts that am I wrong in thinking that things can be done without being corrupt! Can a small company can be started and run effectively without even being able to bribe anyone! Is it possible to do good to others and not be ridiculed for doing so selflessly?

Why do people imagine and not just imagine they have this belief that if someone is trying to help them without asking anything in return, there is a hidden motive? Are we not able to take without giving anything in return? Why people cannot stop doubting good intentions?

All these thoughts are always hovering my mind and thought of sharing them with you, just to know if I am alone or not!

Yesterday while teaching my son about the invasions by the Mongols, Greeks, Persians, Moghuls, East India Company, Queen Victoria and their slow invasion of India, the slow yet steady divide and rule, the various good and ugly changes in the country during each foreign reign, kind of provided the answers to a few of my queries. Its the centuries of invasion, suppression, control and exploitations led to the mistrust that is deep seeded in our genes now.

We are wary of everyone as if they will exploit us in the next moment that we let our defenses down.

We take pride and boast about the bribes, the cheating and the dishonesty we were part of, to get our jobs done! We consider being corrupt as the necessity and will laugh at anyone who attempts to be honest. We huddle together, mock at and ostracize the only person who dares to be different and fight the system. We watch in a group the plight of those who stand up against corruption and antisocial activities as along as it is not our own problem!

We are so used to this mistrust that we do not want to change. We are ok to live with the difficult system all around us and name it as the practical way of surviving in India.

Yet! Deep down, if we are corrupt, we are scared. We do not change as all the effort we have spent in making these connections to help us survive will end, leaving us with all those who are actually more competent and capable than us.

Am I naive and silly?