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Author Photo MADHURIE SINGH

Madhurie Singh, India’s First Schools and Product Reviewer

Writing since 2006, honest reviews of schools, admission process, application dates and interview questions for Nursery to class 12. Read all posts to understand which is the right board/school/preschool/ coaching/product for your child. CBSE, ICSE, IB, CAIE, IGCSE, NIOS, PMShri, BSB or State Boards.
Best school or Top School need not be Right School always. Read More…

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You are here: Home / Archives for Children

Children

Let’s Solve Common Problems Faced by Children in School and Home

Written By Madhurie Singh Last Modified Date: July 1, 2017

Parenting is not easy, especially when children are evolving faster than parents can cope up. Each parent finds one or many common issues bothering them when it comes to their loved ones. The most common of all issues as per my survey are: My Child
1. Can not Concentrate / Focus / Easily distracted in class and at home
2. Gets Bored Easily
3. Gets Angry quickly
4. Does not want to write anything
5. Can not finish class work/homework on time
6. Forgets easily / Can not memorize
7. Unable to find interesting ways to learn
8. Needs to boost Confidence
9. Lacks of motivation and initiation
10. Does not show interest or take initiative
11. Back Answering
12. Very lazy / Does not want to move
13. Lack of confidence
14. Glued to gadgets mindlessly for hours together
15. Behavioral problems which are on daily basis and only with parents
16. Depression and bored

The problems are all due to past or recent changes in the environment, people or behavior with changes in expectations and emotions. We will deal with a few problems and solutions due to time constraint.

I got a call from a mom in August 2016 who was very distressed as she had found her son was being bullied to take drugs by his peers in school. She had found out the number of students who take drugs in 9th grade that even the school management was aware of but unable to control it.

After a lot of thinking, I had a lot of questions about drug and addiction. I came across a post on Facebook where this young lady was claiming to have helped several addicts in Pune using Graphology and counseling.

I quickly messaged her and had a talk with her. The whole conversation was very uplifting when I came to know that using handwriting analysis, medicines and counseling this deaddiction center has helped teenagers and youth come out clean much faster than just the counseling and medicines.

So I got really curious and asked to meet me. Somewhere, I had a hope that if this is really true then so many students, teens, youth can benefit is people are aware of Graphology.

It was last November that we met. I grilled her a lot to understand how and what kind of patients/problems she has dealt with in the deaddiction center. Addiction of mobile phones, drugs, alcohol were major ones. I was quite surprised to know that patients and their family members hide facts even when they are in the center for help!  The counselors would waste 2 – 3 sessions only to understand the real issue as that is how long it would take patients to open. After assessing their handwriting, the root cause of the addiction could be easily identified. So even before the first counseling session starts with the patients, his/her handwriting has already revealed a lot about the problem areas. It became easier and faster for the counselors to address the patient and the issues. This information was like a music to my ears. I was visualizing parents coming with the handwriting samples of their children and getting to the root cause of the same without even meeting children. It would mean so much to the teachers who face humongous load of dealing with the children each day.

But, what good is a report if it does not help in any change in the behavior.  We all know what we are or what we imagine to be based on what others think about us. But it would be beneficial if someone also had a solution to change. That is why I never believed DMIT and such analysis.

I am excited only when someone comes to me with the solution and not just the problems.

So I asked her if she helps the patients change their handwriting to overcome these hidden traits that may be the cause of the problems. She mentioned that each trait can be changed with little practice and alertness while writing.

She gave her patients patterns to be practiced daily for 21 days. On 21st day she would check the handwriting again to see if the change was forced or natural. If the change was natural, it would mean the patient has managed to overcome the problem but has to continue focusing on the pattern to make it a habit. If the change was forced, she would ask them to repeat the 21 days cycle again along with the medicines and counseling.

Now know me you know that verbal proof is not good enough. So I had to test it out.

I gave her samples of my sons’ handwritings. She mentioned the exact issues and their solution patterns along with changes we as parents should adopt. 🙂

We did everything religiously with a lot of apprehensions. But, I could see changes in my children from the first week onwards. I thought I was imagining. But seriously we were all putting a lot of effort in the words we chose to utter, the change in the authority, the compromises and the pattern practice.

Needless to say that I am very happy with the entire process of the handwriting therapy along with the counseling (to the parents).

And that is when I decided it’s time to create an awareness for all those parents who were facing common, nagging issues when dealing with their children’s studies. The most attractive part was the solution which was as simple as changing a stroke of an alphabet! If this could change a nagging issue in a child, which parent won’t go for it.

So here I am with Sonal Oswal, inviting you to a seminar cum workshop on understanding your child’s problems.

lets solve common problems of children

We have a limited number of seats, so do book it asap. Also the fee will increase each week. So you better book a seat now.

Click this link and click the Green Button.

buy ticket now

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: Children, parents, personality, problems, seminar, workshop4 Comments

Confident children, Did I do a good job as a mom?

Written By Madhurie Singh Last Modified Date: September 14, 2016

Confident children, Did I do a good job as a mom?

Image credit: Google

I was asking Hindi chapter questions to my son in grade 6 for his half yearly exam preparation.
The chapter was about a boy who was very bright in his class. This boy was a wizard in Math and topped in Science, History and GK. Also was good in languages. But, his polio affected legs were something that he would be made fun of in his school. Yet he was very patient with other students and never fought with others for such issues.
So the question was, “What are they qualities you like in this boy that you would like to adopt?” This was his text book question.

This is what my son wrote. “I like the fact that the boy is brave, intelligent and very patient. But I do not want any quality of his. I am very happy as I am. I come first in my class, with very good marks in science. I am not bad in Math. I am OK in languages too. I am very good in badminton and football. I am a very good athlete. I think you should not compare children. Each child is good in the way he is. Such questions should not be asked.”

[tweetthis twitter_handles=”#parenting, #confidence,@madhureisingh” display_mode=”box”]Sometimes kids prove that you did a good job as a parent, pat yourself.[/tweetthis]

 

After reading his answer I was quiet for a long time. Do you think I did a pretty good job in instilling self confidence in my sons?

What do you think your child’s answer would be to the same question?

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: Children, Comparison, Confidence, Parenting, Son1 Comment

How to condition instant Confidence in your child?

Written By Madhurie Singh Last Modified Date: September 14, 2016

Diwali evening, I was asking my sons to get ready for the puja. My younger son asked me, “Mom, when you don’t believe in such rituals, why are you doing it? And why should we sit with you?”

These questions are very difficult when one does know the answer. But since I have been pondering long about these rituals and beliefs, I had to give an answer. I told him, ” I was raised where Naniji would very meticulously organize and do puja. There was so much preparation since weeks that we had to help her in small things like making rangoli, cleaning puja place and all idols, arranging puja thali, making tiny Lakshmi feet, placing diyas everywhere and then dressing up!  I was good at making gulab jamuns, so that was also one thing I would do. So all these activities for 20 plus years conditioned me to feel good when I do them and guilty or not so good when I did not. So just to not feel guilty, I am doing it. If you want to join me or not is up to you.”

Both of them joined me in our quick puja.

Feeling good is directly related to having confidence. In fact, many people take it the other way round. They think by having confidence, you will feel good. But on the contrary, confidence is a by-product of feeling good.

[tweetthis twitter_handles=”#parenting, #confidence,@madhureisingh”]The best part of the brain is that it can be conditioned to feel confident and good. [/tweetthis]

So what if you can train your child to feel confident and hence good by giving external inputs?

Without going into details of how the brain works and what happens internally, I will share a few tricks that you must learn to apply.

1. “Fantabulous”.  Enforce Positivity by using one word sparingly only when your child has done something extraordinarily good work. Pick one word and stick to it. Do not use it very frequently.

 

fantabulous Only when you think the child has out-performed his/her own capacity. Words like awesome, superb, amazing have lost their greatness due to constant use. So pick any one word and stick to it. In the entire day, ensure it is used only once. You need not use it at all if there was nothing worth mentioning.

Your child will yearn and work hard to listen to this word from you.

2. “Perfume/ Music”. Spray a special perfume or room freshener sparingly only when your child has done something extraordinary and you are really proud of him/her. Ideally the smell conditioning should be used with non materialistic achievements. For example when your child has helped someone who was really in need. Or has told you a truth that takes a lot of courage.

agarbatti

Study time is also a good time to use another scent.

I use agarbatti of rose scent when I am teaching my kids some important value, like helping other, telling me the truth about an incident or discussing future with them. Unconsciously, I am conditioning their brain to feel good when rose agarbatti is lighted.

In future, even when they are on their own and have any tough decision to make, when the mind is clouded, just by lighting the Rose agarbatti, the brain will open up, cloudiness will thin and they will start to feel good. When they feel good, they will take a better decision, hopefully.

You may repeat the same with a one type of background music.

3. “Pastry”. Treat with a special food that should be done sparingly only when you celebrate birthdays, anniversaries and such close family occasions. This will be imprinted in their minds and make them feel good even in your absence.

Chocolate-Pastry

They will love to order that special pastry and feel good each time, they think of you in future and be happy instead of feeling low. Do not connect food items with any materialistic achievement. Else they will start hogging it to feel good if they fail to acquire anything material.

4. “Donate”. Give a few bucks to poor people everytime you child achieves something materialistic. This act will condition his/her  mind to feel good by sharing a small amount of wealth whenever there is any material gain like increment, profits, new TV or new cars etc.

child donates

All these different types of conditioning you practice today will take time. But it can be a real boon to your child in future. Do not link any of these acts to religion or fear or God which is how people were conditioned in the olden days.

How all these mind conditioning acts should be used to boost confidence instantly?

1. When your child is low in confidence because of poor marks even when the child had put in a lot of effort, you may use the word “Fantabulous” and make your child feel confident and good about himself / herself.

“You worked fantabulously hard, that is what matters. Try again and you will be fantabulously successful next time.”

2. When the result did not arrive as expected or when the class project did not go as expected, light an agarbatti or spray the scent of confidence in the room. There will be sure change in the mood and feelings of your child.

As of now, whenever they sit down to study, use a scent that is same each study time. You may use a soft background instrumental music too for the similar effect.

Point 3. and 4. are very simple to implement at any time.

3. Whenever your child tells you a truth, you can treat him/ her with that special savory. It may be a 1 rupee toffee, but it has to be constant and ensure it is there in future too. So to be safe pastry / chocolate are good.

4. Every birthday when you give a big expensive gift to your child, make your child donate cash or something to poor. This small act of giving to the needy will make him/her appreciate your gift more and also bring that feeling of gratitude and goodness.

Do let him/her know about it in the most scientific way, so that they can continue to practice it in your absence and teach their own children the power of conditioning the brain positively. Only a positively happy mind is a confident mind.

 

All images taken from Google.

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: Children, conditioning, Confidence, instant4 Comments

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