Namaste dear parents,

Let’s begin with a real-world story: the case of 15-year-old Brandon Crisp from Canada. Brandon loved playing Call of Duty on his Xbox. One day, when his parents took away the console to limit his gaming time, Brandon ran away—and his body was found several weeks later in the woods en.wikipedia.org. While this is a tragic extreme, many families experience smaller but significant versions of this: meltdowns, runaway tantrums, emotional shutdowns—all when screens are taken away. You may think, “That would never happen to my child.” But the truth is—every day, children fight, scream, or emotionally shut down when screens are taken away. Why? Because screens are not just “fun.” They’re powerful. And in this chapter, we’ll explore why saying no feels so hard—for them and for us.

So why are screens so hard to limit? What is happening inside our children’s—and our own—brains and hearts when we try to say “enough”?

🎯 The Dopamine Loop – Withdrawal Isn’t Just for Substances

Screens aren’t harmless—they activate the brain’s reward system the same way addictive substances do. Research from PubMed Central shows that adolescents with internet addiction have twice the baseline dopamine levels in their blood! pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov. When screens are removed, dopamine levels dip—but the urge doesn’t disappear. Instead, children often experience:

• Irritability
• Rage or physical outbursts
• Emotional withdrawal

When we suddenly remove screens, the brain feels empty. It craves the happy feeling again. This is why your child may:

• Cry, shout, or beg for “just 5 more minutes”
• Say “I’m bored” even with toys or books nearby
• Get angry or sad when screens are taken away

They’re not being bad. Their brain is reacting. And like any habit, it takes time and love to slowly bring it back to balance.

As the Paediatrics notes, this can feel like withdrawal symptoms, making limits feel like cruel punishment to a growing child

Read the detail of Dopamine Reward Cycle Here

👩‍💻 Why Limiting Screens Feels Impossible — From the Parent’s Side

We often focus on what’s happening with the child, but the truth is—screen addiction is a family pattern, not just a child’s problem. Many parents want to reduce screen time but feel stuck, confused, or helpless. Here’s why:

🕒 Parents Are Busy and Overloaded

Let’s be honest—life is hectic. Whether you’re a working mom, a dad on back-to-back calls, or a homemaker juggling ten tasks, the screen becomes a quick babysitter.
“I just need 30 mins to finish cooking!”
“Let me complete this Zoom meeting, and I’ll talk.”
And that 30 minutes quietly becomes 3 hours.

📱 Parents Themselves Are Glued to Screens

We scroll Instagram while waiting for dal to boil. We binge-watch Netflix late at night. We listen to podcasts while walking.
So when we ask kids to “switch off the tab,” they see us doing the exact opposite.
Children don’t follow instructions—they copy behavior.

❓No Clear Formula to Follow

Most parents say:
“I want to reduce screen time, but I don’t know how.”
Is 30 minutes okay?
Should I remove it completely?
Should I lock the phone?
Everyone gives different advice. And most of it doesn’t work in your family setup. So the cycle continues.

😰 Guilt Stops Them From Saying “No”

Many modern Indian parents grew up with strict rules or financial limitations.
Today, they don’t want their child to feel deprived. So when the child cries for a screen, we think:
“Let it be. I don’t want to hurt him.”
But one soft decision leads to bigger battles later.

😞 They Fear Emotional Meltdowns

For many parents, screen time is a peace treaty.
Removing the tab means facing tantrums, shouting, crying, maybe even door-slamming.
And after a long day, parents just don’t have the energy for emotional drama.

🚪Lack of Alternative Ideas

When you remove the screen… what next?
“She doesn’t like to read.”
“He won’t play outside.”
“There’s no one nearby for them to play with.”
So even when you take away the screen, there’s an emotional vacuum—and kids rush back to the only thing that excites them.

🧩 Each Child Is Different

What works for one child fails with the other.
One may respond to rewards, another may need emotional connection, another may just refuse everything.
This leaves parents feeling confused:
“I’ve tried everything. What more can I do?”

🔁 Screens Give Instant Results — Parenting Takes Time

Let’s be honest again: giving a screen, works smoothly.
Silence. No mess. No questions. No fights.
Parenting with real connection takes time, patience, creativity, and calm. And we aren’t taught these skills—especially not in the rush of modern life.

❤️ Final Thought for Parents

You are not a bad parent if your child watches a screen.
But you are a powerful parent if you take even one step today to balance it—with love, with calm, and with confidence that your child needs you more than a screen. Check out which type of parent you are:

🧩 The Confused Parent

“I don’t know what’s right anymore.”
One article says “Zero screen time.” Another says “Screens teach kids coding!”
This parent feels lost in the noise and ends up doing nothing — out of fear of doing the wrong thing.

😓 The Overworked Parent

“After 10 hours of meetings and chores, I just want peace.”
This parent may love their child deeply, but exhaustion takes over. Screens become a survival tool for both the child and the parent.

❤️ The Over-Indulgent Parent

“I didn’t get these things as a child — I want my child to have everything.”
This parent buys tablets, games, phones too early. They equate love with gifts, and struggle to say no — even when they know it’s harmful.

🛑 The Strict Parent

“I banned screens, and now we fight every day.”
They try to control too hard, too fast — often without explaining. This creates rebellion. Children lie, hide screen use, and become emotionally distant.

🎈 The Lenient Parent

“He’s just a child, let him enjoy.”
This parent avoids conflict at all costs. They don’t want to be the “bad guy.” So they give in — again and again — and screen time slowly spirals.

🧸 The Helicopter Parent

“I monitor everything, but I still feel something’s wrong.”
They try to control everything but forget to model healthy habits themselves. Despite the effort, they can’t stop their child’s emotional dependence on screens.

🙃 The “Cool” Parent

“I want my child to think I’m chill.”
They let screens become a bonding tool: binge-watching together, sharing reels, gaming together. But slowly, boundaries blur—and limits vanish.

😔 The Guilty Parent

“I feel I already failed during their early years.”
Many parents blame themselves for not being present enough when their child was young. So now, they overcompensate by avoiding “No,” letting the screen act as comfort.

😟 The Novice Parent

“Everyone’s doing it. I don’t want my kid to miss out.”
New parents especially feel peer pressure. If other kids are on YouTube or gaming, they fear their child will be left behind socially or academically.

🧠 The Analytic Parent

“I’ve read 20 research papers but still can’t apply them at home.”
This parent knows what to do—but freezes in real-life chaos. The child cries, the pot is boiling over, the phone rings—and the research flies out the window.

🤷🏻 The “Digital is the Future” Parent

“What’s the point of fighting screens? They’re part of life now.”
This parent surrenders completely. They stop setting limits and let the child learn “naturally,” assuming things will balance out later. Often, they don’t.

💔 The Emotionally Struggling Parent

“I’m not okay, how can I take care of screen time now?”
Whether it’s post-partum depression, burnout, or family issues, this parent is in survival mode. Limiting screens becomes a low priority—even if guilt eats them later.

👴 The Traditional Grandparent-influenced Parent

“My parents say let him watch cartoons. We used to let you too!”
Grandparents may unknowingly add pressure, especially in joint families. Their old-school logic clashes with modern science, and the parent feels stuck between love and logic.

🎯 Final Message to All Types of Parents

It’s okay. You’re not alone.
No matter what type of parent you are—or have been—it’s never too late to bring awareness, structure, and heart back into your home.
Even one small change can lead to big emotional healing.

📚 The Science Behind Why Parents Struggle with Screen Limits

Did you know that parenting isn’t just about willpower or discipline. It’s driven by your own brain wiring, past experiences, stress levels, and emotional needs. Here’s how:

🧬 Parenting Is Shaped by Your Childhood (Attachment Theory)

Your parenting style is deeply influenced by how you were raised. The formula of inversely proportional applies here.

• If you had emotionally unavailable parents, you may become over-involved now.
• If you were harshly disciplined, you may become too soft with your child today.
• If you never got toys or attention, you may overcompensate by giving screens or gadgets now.

This is called Attachment ReEnactment—your brain subconsciously tries to “fix” your own childhood through your parenting. But screens weren’t part of that plan.

😔 Guilt Hijacks the Logical Brain

When parents feel guilt (missing milestones, working late, yelling, giving junk food), the brain activates the limbic system, especially the amygdala (emotions, fear, shame).
This shuts down the prefrontal cortex (decision-making, logic).

So even when you know screens aren’t good, your brain says:

“Just give it. You’ve already done so much wrong.”

This guilt loop leads to inconsistent rules and overindulgence.

📲 Your Brain Is Hooked Too (Mirror Neurons)

When your child is glued to the screen… so are you.
Your brain has mirror neurons—they imitate behavior they see often.
Children copy you. But here’s the twist—you also copy your child.

• When they scroll, you scroll.
• When they laugh at YouTube, you peek too.
• When they cry for a phone, your stress response kicks in—and handing the phone stops your own discomfort too.

This shared screen habit becomes a co-regulated addiction cycle.

⚖️ Stress Makes Screens Seem Like the Easiest Choice (Cognitive Load Theory)

When you’re multitasking—cooking, replying to emails, helping with homework—your brain can’t handle one more demand.
So it chooses the path of least resistance:
📺 “Here, take the tablet.”

This is called Cognitive Overload—your mental bandwidth is full, so discipline drops.

🔄 Reinforcement Learning and Screen Giving

In behavioral science, this is called Negative Reinforcement:

• Child cries
• You give screen
• Crying stops
  So your brain learns:

“Giving a screen = peace.”
Even though it causes long-term harm, the brain rewards you for short-term relief.

This becomes a habit for both parent and child.

💡 Lack of Community Makes Parenting Harder (Social Proof)

In the past, Indian parents had joint families, shared wisdom, and community parenting.
Today’s nuclear families are isolated. No auntie or nani to guide you.
So parents turn to Google, Instagram, or friends—and get a mix of advice.

Without a supportive circle, parenting feels like guesswork. And screens become crutches, not just for kids—but for overwhelmed parents too.

📜 Ancient Wisdom — The Power of Self-Control

From the Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 6, Verse 5:
“उद्धरेदात्मनात्मानं नात्मानमवसादयेत्।”
“Lift yourself up by your own self—don’t let yourself fall down. Your mind can be your best friend or your worst enemy.”

This reminds us that balance starts from within. Teaching our children self-control is a gift that lasts longer than any video or game.

Parenting as Sacred Duty

Sanskrit (Manusmṛiti 2.145):
गुरुशुश्रूषया विद्या, सम्यगाचारसेवया।
संस्कारैश्चैव शुद्धात्मा, विद्वान् स्याद्वेदपारगः॥

Meaning:
True learning (vidyā) arises from service to elders, good conduct, and righteous impressions (samskāras).
👉 Parenting Insight: Be a model of character and discipline. Parents are the first gurus whose daily actions shape the child’s soul.

🛠️ What Can Indian Parents Do?

Join The Screen De-Addiction Course Here

Fill The Google Form To Connect With Madhurie Singh or Join the Trusted Parents Circle

Join The Trusted Parents Whatsapp Group Here

How To Apply For School Transfer Certificate, TC ?

Research References

• Harvard Center on the Developing Child – Emotional regulation and screen stress
• American Psychological Association – Screen use and parental stress
• Daniel J. Siegel, MD – “The Whole-Brain Child” – Mirror neurons, emotional storms
• Jean Twenge (iGen) – Parental screen use and generational screen patterns
• University of Michigan C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital – Parenting during tech overload